One Year

Caleb, finally with mom, after everything.

Exactly a year ago at around 8:30 a.m. I was sitting in my hospital bed calling the nurse to bring me my baby. I'd delivered him 6 hours earlier (awesome, fast, and natural), had taken a short nap, and was ready to see my baby again. Nobody had told me he'd been moved to a special care unit because his oxygen levels were too low, but they did then.

I called Ben, who had gone home to get a little sleep and get the kids breakfast, to update him on our baby. I was calm. He was calm. Crustimony Proseedcake, right? (That's winnie-the-pooh speak for customary procedure.) I was a little unnerved.

Until my parents came by a few moments later to see the baby because my mom was leaving out of town (nice timing, mom). We walked down the hall to the little room he was in, and that about did me in; my heart sank as I saw his small body tucked into fetal position with his head turned to the side and the soles of his feet so small up by his diaper. And a little tube running to his nose and monitoring wires all over his tiny body. The kindly nurse, against the rules and regulations, let my parents in to see the baby since my mom was leaving. And then I was more than a little unnerved.

As I walked back to my room with my parents and without my baby my eyes welled up with tears and my voice choked just a little bit over the words "That was stressful." Perhaps that was a tad underestimation but we of the inherited Danish genes, we're stoic ones.

The next few days were odd in the life of a mother at the hospital. Ben was at home with the other four kids, Caleb was in the special care unit where I visited him to feed him and hold him every few hours, but otherwise I just hung out in my room alone.

The blessings of the event were thus: I delivered naturally so I was back on my feet right away instead of having to wait until the epidural wore off and I brought with me a few pairs of actual pajamas both of which were helpful in wandering down the halls to the Special Care Unit at all hours of the day and night. They put him on a 48 hour course of anti-biotics which seemed to clear-up whatever it was and he was able to come home with me.

Earlier this week I was sorting through my baby clothes and I found four little newborn hats they put on the babies after they are born. The fifth hat was lost in the transition from the labor room to the special care unit and I never got it back.

But I got back my sweet baby. Who is healthy and strong, and mad that I won't let him play on the computer right now. (Not that I let a 1 year old play on the computer, but he likes to bang on the keys. Like mother, like son, eh?)

Happy Birthday, sweet Caleb. I love you so much.