metaphorical mountains, molehills and such

There are days when I feel like I'm climbing up a mountain made out of sand. Have you even experienced that? When I was little we had this huge mountain of dirt in our back yard for awhile while it was being landscaped. It was a blast to play in. We got filthy. But getting to the top was a challenge. You'd take a few steps up only to hit some loosely packed dirt and slide right back. That's how I feel right now. I'm trying to climb my own little metaphorical mountain of motherhood and my progress is a little bit halting, to say the least. I'm a little sleep deprived, and having a hard time getting things done. I sweep and sweep but as far as I can tell, my tile grows crumbs and small bits of paper. My books are constantly jumping off their assigned bookshelves. The dishes seem to be multiplying faster than rabbits, although my dishwasher is actually doing a pretty decent job keeping up with them. And funny thing this, my kids actually expect me to be available for them during all of this stuff! I have a pile of clean laundry waiting to be folded in the hallway. Would you say I'm over-optimistic if I told you the good part of that pile is that it's getting bigger? I mean, at least I'm still getting the dirty piles of clothes clean, right? Right.

My current philosophy is this: You do what you can. You pray. And then you can do a little more. And then you try and go to bed early so that you aren't as inclined to yell at your kids when they drop their shoes and coats on the floor and leave them there as they come inside your house. Also, maybe then you remember that sitting down to read some Edward Lear limericks with your kids is, in the long run, more important than getting the laundry folded. And a heck of a lot more entertaining.

Somedays it's not easy. But I'm telling you, by the time my kids are grown and gone, I'm gonna have some really nice looking legs from climbing this thing. Metaphorically speaking.

it's so quiet here

When we got to Utah, my daughter was awed at the idea of doing our laundry in our very own house! And last week when we turned on the "heater" she asked where the thing was with the "pipes" and was confused, because how do you heat up a house without a radiator? or two, or three? Well, you can do it, but it certainly is heat without character, that's for sure. No hissing, no clicking, no clacking. No loud random bangings in the middle of the night. Yes, middle America, we may have lost a burn hazard and gained some extra floor space wih central heating, but it came at a cost.



( I won't say the same about the in-home laundromat.)

I'm a wimp

It's time to start the sleep training. It's been time for a little while, but I'm having a hard time getting up for it. I know that after a few nights of letting my little girl cry it out, she'll be fine, and I'll get more sleep. But.

I think I'm going soft in my old(er) age.

Still. She's just 4.5 months. And sometimes she'll sleep through the night on her own.

Sometimes.

Also, she's really talented at hysterical crying. Fantastic at it, actually. Which, you know, hinders my desire to attempt the whole rigamarolle. (That's probably spelled wrong. Feel free to correct.) I think she knows this. She knows I'm weak.

But I just read through my know-it-all pediatrics book and I've been induldging my baby in all the things I shouldn't. Picking her up. Feeding her even if maybe she's not hungry. Letting her come to bed with me. I mean, of course she'd rather snuggle up with mom for a little while than sleep in her own bed. But it's all about forming habits now.

I'm just having a hard time giving up the sleep required in order to get her to sleep more. I know, I know. In the long run... for now I guess I just have enough stamina for the short run.

So. At least I'm thinking about it. That's a start.