voice snatchers

I've got a nasty cold, the kind of which if I were living in England in 1789, would probably not have quite killed me, but certainly would have secured me Mr. Bingley's favors and affections. (Though probably not those of his sisters.)

I have lost my voice. It's difficult to parent without a voice and it would make me much more hands on, if I had enough energy. But as it is, I am left to ignore phone calls from mortgage brokers offering to help get us into a house that I really like, but really see no way to afford, because I can't say yea, nay, or anything in between!

It's really too bad, then, in my current state, that I plowed through Harry Potter in two days (one of those days included a family reunion that did require some mingling...are you impressed?) and that kept me pretty well non-communicative as well (except for the occassional uttered name ... I plan to make a list of names I said with exclamation points in the order they came and those of you who have read the book can probably figure out what part of the book I'm refering to...). Meaning, I could use a good Harry Potter book to help keep me down and resting. But I'll figure something out.

"we're out of town!"

That's what my daughter said as our plane landed in Salt Lake City almost two weeks ago. And she was right.

Taking off from LaGuardia I hoped to have at least a glance of the city below. The weeks before filled with packing and the like left hardly any time to say goodbye to my sweet residential village, much less the cosmopolitain city just a few miles South. At first I thought that I was sitting on the wrong side but as we took off, the plane curved around and suddenly the city appeared like a map laid out with little pop-up buildings sprouting from midtown and the financial district. Central Park was the perfect rectangle below me and as we flew away, the island of Manhattan getting smaller and smaller, I must admit, I cried.

It's true, there are a lot of things about New York I wasn't overly fond of, and had we stayed that wouldn't have changed. But there is something about leaving a chapter in your life that is a little sad. Farewell to favorite parks, favorite trees, favorite little roads to drive on. We landed in SLC after a relatively uneventful flight (and with four small children, that's saying something) and that part of our lives was over. Almost like we had never been away, and had never lived in New York.

Except for the fact that when I went to Costo it was huge and populated with an unexciting percentage of peoples and ethnicities of little variance, all of whom seemed to like to dress the same. And my kids spent an entire day just running around a vast space called a backyard. I don't have to pay for parking. And when I look out at the expansive horizon, it is incredibly expansive, and not cut off by a multitude of trees and buildings so close together there isn't anywhere to look out, just up. This isn't list of good and bad, pros and cons; it's just a list of some things that are different. And so, if I experience a little twinge when I go to pay for groceries, but don't have to pull out my Stop n' Shop card for the discounts, it's not because I am no longer required to pay $1.40 for a can of refried beans.

It's good to be here. But like reading the last chapters of a book you have completely loved, I can't help but want to go back and flip through a few of the pages once more.

whoosh! where does a year go?

It's the thirteenth and a Friday at that, but I consider it a lucky day. One year ago I clicked save and my first ever post was, er, posted on this blog (granted, last year the 13th was a Thursday, but this year it's a Friday so we'll go with that). It was something I'd been thinking about doing. I was a faithful DYM reader, occassionally venturing out beyond into the greater world of bloggers, and particularly "mommy bloggers" (if you don't mind the term) who fascinated me by being so much the same as myself, and so different at the same time.

I've enjoyed the chance to write a bit of randomness here and there. It's good to have a little space in the world that's your own, even if it's just virtual space. I have some nice virtual neighbors who stop by on a regular basis to say hi and that's a lot of fun. I think I have other nice virtual neighbors who frequent here, but they are more of the silent type, which is lovely as well (although I would love to hear from you).

I've heard about bloggy burn out at about the year mark, and I think I very well could be experiencing it, except that really I've managed to pummel most of my creativity into the ground simply by being alive these last few months. It's mommy brain, on top of everything else. But I hope to get the juices flowing again soon, instead of the slow trickle that seems to produce good blogging ideas, but can't get them past the thought process. But at least they're in there somewhere floating around!

I hope to dazzle and astonish you in the next year with my amazing blogging prowess. hee. But I'll settle for being mildly entertaining for the present, while thinking about some new things to blog about, maybe a new blog design, maybe some new subjects, maybe...the options for the future are endless. Mostly I just hope I can say that a good time was had by all.

floating, a little uncomfortably

So hey. I'm feeling a little ... lost. Oh, I know where I am. I'm currently in Utah. Orem, to be exact. At my parents. Actually we've rented a house down the way, to sleep in, which is good, because there are wedding plans and a missionary just having come home all over this house. It gives us a place to sleep without feeling claustrophobic. And other things to worry about. But actually that is another post for another day. Forget the wide, wide streets and shopping aisles of the wild west. Where I currently feel out of sync is on the www.

I've been disconnected for a few days and so I'm behind on all of my favorite blogs, but all the sites I've bookmarked for easy access are somewhere in Kansas or Nebraska or who knows where. And then they get sent to a storage unit anyway. It's weird to navigate all my happy haunts with an unfamiliar computer. The actual environment is pretty familiar, it being my family home, and yet (another post) with all the insurance adjusters hopping around knocking down sheet rock full of mold spoors due to a leak in a kitchen pipe, things just feel out of balance. But maybe that's because the countdown to the wedding is in less than a week? Hmmm.

Can you say chaos? How about crazy? How about if we all survive the next little while things will be in good shape. Except, we hope, for the mold.

almost here

We've packed up our wedding, the births of each of our children, the day to day mundane of our lives. I am trying to avoid heart failure at the thought of being parted from all photographs, mini DV tapes, and journals. I don't know that I am doing a very good job.

I have tried to put it in perspective. I've been telling myself "it's much more important that I have the actual child by my side. Losing the photo album really isn't that big of a deal in the scheme of things..." Except that generally the pictures are frozen in cuteness and the child most likely is not, so you can understand the temptation to do a little switcheroo: the kid in the boxes, the family home movies on the plane next to me. Kidding, kidding.

We might FedEx some of the really important mementos. But I haven't felt any better about that. My mind keeps coming up with scenarios in which the movers, the mailers, and the flyers all let me down. It's like I am in some game show and I have to choose a door and inevitably I will make the wrong choice! Sorry about that, door number 1 contained a room of fire! Your possessions are destroyed! You should have picked number 2 or 3.

But really. There is only so much room in my suitcase.

But it is a little unnerving to pack up all my little relationships into reused moving boxes; to send all my Jane Austens into storage for awhile. Oh my lovely Jane, will I ever see you again? And W.S. Merwin? And Ray? Yes, you, too, Ray Bradbury. Then of course my life soundtrack: So long, Sting. See ya Simon. Say hey to Garfunkel. Hey there Beach Boys, hunker down for the ride. Mozart, keep up with that Symphony #40. It's a good one. Pots and pans and stuff, not so much sentimentality. I try not to think about the furniture. Plus, it's insured.

I have yet to say goodbye to Jed Bartlett and crew. You know, you need someone to hang out with when you're so tired of packing and the baby just wants to eat every 15 minutes (Camille has decided that only cat naps are approved during the day time. What is that???). But the time is close at hand my friends. Time to pack up the White House. (Hear, hear! the democrats shout; NY is full of dems, of course. Sorry guys, I'm talking about a fictional WH, not the real thing...maybe in a few more years for you guys).

I know. Enough all ready with the moving posts. But this is it, I promise. The thing is, it turns out, moving is much more life consuming that even pregnancy. It's almost all I think about and it is all I do. But I am here to say farewell from my little blogging corner in Westchester, New York. (Sniff! This is where it all began...) I'm sure there will be plenty of blog fodder in Utah, but there won't be quite the same kind of fodder.

To all you dear ones staying in New York, I'll miss you. To all you dear ones who show up here at Bells, see you on the flip side.

flying with Archie

The past few Sundays at church have been great fun and quite amusing. And not just because, for Ben and I, the extent of our spiritual feast has been time spent in the foyer with our two babes, too young for the nursery, and too loud for Sunday School. Everyone has been great about offering and following through on helping us get ready for the move, including getting us to the airport without having to employ the use of a double-decker cab. It's been really nice.

A couple weeks ago while hanging out in the foyer at church almost every time we turned around we had someone inquiring, double-checking, and assuring that we did indeed have a ride to the airport, even if it wasn't clear to us (or them for that matter) who was driving us and whose vehicle they would be using. But this past Sunday it all became clear. We're on the same flight as a dog named Archie, and we're hitching a ride with him in his van.

There is another family moving out to Utah in the next week as well and for some reason their dog is traveling ahead of them. He's going solo. We leave at the same time, have the same destination and the same airline. I didn't know this airline had live animals as cargo and I never thought I'd fly with a dog, but whatever works!

Anyway, this family has a seven passenger van, so the dog's owner, Archie (the dog), Ben, me, and our four children will be heading out for the airport at 4:30 a.m. Saturday morning. Hooray for Archie. We have a ride to La Guardia with little trouble to anyone.

We will not worry about the fact that my kids get a little skittish around dogs. We will not wonder if Archie will get a little skittish about sharing his van with 6 strangers. We'll just assume that all company will be enjoyed from here all the way to Salt Lake City. Thanks, Archie!