I'm dreaming..

Our last winter in New York we did not get any snow. The Fall leaves arrived in spectacular fashion and lingered through November and then became the drab and dreary Very End of Fall that never ended.

December came and went, uninspired though cold. Then January showed up. It sort of snowed once, but it didn't stick. Then February came. And we got one more round of "let's pretend this is snow" and then Spring came. And it probably rained enough to flood the Bronx River Parkway. That said, it doesn't take much to flood the BRP. In any case, it was disappointing.

We have yet to have a good snowfall here this year. We got some nice snow in October, and then it warmed up and was absolutely pleasant. I didn't complain. And then it got gray and dull. And now it's freezing cold. FREEZING! But there is no snow on the ground. And, need I say it? It is disappointing. In my quest for over-flowing holiday spirit, I've found that snow always helps.

My youngest is really tired and grumpy from: her cold? teething? a stomach bug? not sleeping through the night? I lay awake at 2 a.m. waiting to see if she will whimper her way back to sleep. And she usually does. But I am still awake for it.

With the tired and grumpy comes an intense desire to be held by mom almost constantly. Although this doesn't stop her from being grumpy. She's just grumpy in my arms. It makes me sad, because her nature is so cheerful and happy. I should probably take her to the doctor to see if she has an ear infection or something but I am so sick of the doctor I'm holding out to see if she will just get better on her own. (please, please, please!)

Her nap is at noon. And although she will go down earlier, she won't sleep as long then, and so I am here waiting, waiting, for the minutes to tick away to twelve o'clock. My arms are tired and weary. But I have given in the past few days and put her down early, and it wasn't quite worth it. I have a little over an hour to go.

They say a winter storm is coming. Just a few more days and there should be snow. And then more snow. And one morning I'll awake, rested, to a calm silence, suddenly aware that I wasn't called for in the middle of the night, and the world covered with a blanket of soft, peaceful white.