There's a log they like you to fill out in the hospital when you've had a baby. You're supposed to write down time and length of feedings and how many diapers you've changed and what the content of those diapers were. I actually didn't do it because a) no one told me to, b) by the time they did tell me I had a day left but then they didn't leave me a pen, and c) it was my fourth baby and I felt pretty well qualified to decide whether or not she was eating enough and if her digestive system was dealing with said eating appropriately without having to keep track of it on paper.
Also, the title of the paper was the Daily Feeding Dairy. I am pretty sure they meant diary and not dairy, but as I am breastfeeding I became a little suspicious that either some hospital secretary was having a little fun at a lactating mother's expense, or that the subconscious power of suggestion was just too great...
The funniest thing someone said to me was while taking my blood pressure as I was just waking up from a nap. "You know who you look like? That girl on Full House. You know that girl? What's her name? Stephanie? I just about did a double take!"
Okay, if you scroll down a bit to an earlier post you'll find a picture of me from my wedding day. Even though you can't see my whole face, you can get a pretty clear idea that Stephanie Tanner (age 10 in that show?) and I don't really share much of a resemblance.
And my favorite set of question/responses was this:
"So, is this your first?"
Last but not least was the television controller lady who lets you have a day of free daytime television and Seinfeld reruns before she comes in 24 hours later and says that the remainder of your visit will cost you. I had enough of my faculties in tact to say no thank you. She literally locked up the T.V., it took two keys, and then all that was available to me were the hospital channels, informing me of their great menu selection. She left with a grumpy look on her face. And so I read Pride and Prejudice instead.