There was a moment today, an eensy, teeny moment where motherhood was like I wanted it to be. I was sitting at the piano playing through some children's songs and my kids were gathered around spontaneously and everyone was singing and no one was annoyed that someone was standing too close or complaining that so-and-so was singing too loud or that mom wasn't quite playing it right. It was fun. And then it ended.
So many things about motherhood are overwhelming to me these days, requiring me to give more than I have available, challenging me beyond what I am good at and I am too often left feeling stripped, vulnerable and inadequate.
Of course the practical optimist in me wants you to know that I am philosophical in all of this, aware of what I should do, and that I should be somewhat circumspect about the situation having just had baby number 5 a few months ago, and I am. Circumspect. And also tired.
But that little moment at the piano with everyone crowded around me and singing too loudly in my ears was a little flash of light that said "See? It may not be so unattainable after all."
So there you go. And now I must go and stop my kids from fighting, over playing the piano ironically.