Tuesday, November 9, 2010

A Little Moment

There was a moment today, an eensy, teeny moment where motherhood was like I wanted it to be. I was sitting at the piano playing through some children's songs and my kids were gathered around spontaneously and everyone was singing and no one was annoyed that someone was standing too close or complaining that so-and-so was singing too loud or that mom wasn't quite playing it right. It was fun. And then it ended.

So many things about motherhood are overwhelming to me these days, requiring me to give more than I have available, challenging me beyond what I am good at and I am too often left feeling stripped, vulnerable and inadequate.

Of course the practical optimist in me wants you to know that I am philosophical in all of this, aware of what I should do, and that I should be somewhat circumspect about the situation having just had baby number 5 a few months ago, and I am. Circumspect. And also tired.

But that little moment at the piano with everyone crowded around me and singing too loudly in my ears was a little flash of light that said "See? It may not be so unattainable after all."

So there you go. And now I must go and stop my kids from fighting, over playing the piano ironically.


  1. Mildly jealous. I haven't had a moment for quite some time. I relate to the feeling challenged beyond what I can handle. There are days I'm not sure I will survive until bed time. I am in the midst of feeling stripped, vulnerable, and inadequate. (which is not helped by somebody making snarky comments on my blog the other day. I'm ashamed to say that it reduced me to tears.)

    But if you had a moment....I'm hopeful that maybe mine is around the corner. That maybe, just maybe, I'll get that glimmer of what my life is supposed to be, and it will give me the strength to carry on.

    Thank you for reminding me that such moments are, indeed, possible.

  2. Well...I could encourage you by saying "It will get better!"... and it will. On the other hand, I could say "There are days I still feel the same way."...and I do! Just remember..."you are doing better than you think you are!" Thanks, Sis. Beck.