And when I find that this does the job, but leaves me feeling sort of bleh (a technical term), my instinct is to recognize that an attitude adjustment might just be the trick.
And it often does help. Approaching things with a cheerful heart often helps turn mountains back into molehills.
But, as one has limited capacity, I am well aware that there will be days when all I will be able to manage is the trudging through. And when I am trudging, it's easy to view being cheerful as more of a burden as opposed to a help.
I am aware that just trying to have a happy attitude about spilled milk, while it is helpful, is not really what I am after.
It occurred to me the other day that there is a third option, and that is simply to change. It is to persevere until I am stronger.
But where to find the strength to do so? Is change really ever simple?
I love motherhood, but it is exhausting. And it is taking a toll on my ability to be a good mother. Ironic, isn't it. I am well aware of things I need to change. There's a problem, however. I feel too overwhelmed to really attempt anything.
As the New Year approached with the opportunity to resolve on a good many things, I had the energy to acknowledge that they were there and that I could use some resolutions. But I couldn't possibly write them down. And if I didn't have the energy to even do that, how in the world was I going to overcome and accomplish?
Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest, says Christ.
Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light. (Matthew 11:28 - 30)
In other words, turning to Christ has transformative power. Becoming more like Him allows us to overcome what obstacles may be placed in our way. Because He has overcome the world--all of it--he can help us to change, through his redeeming power. And while we are in the process of changing, he can and will continue to help us carry the burden.
And so, I resolved simply to do this: seek out Jesus Christ through prayer. I said: I am not doing this motherhood thing very well and I need to. You know what needs to be done, I know what needs to be done. But it is beyond me. Help!
And you know what? As I have asked for Grace, for that is surely what I need, it has been gifted to me. I am making changes in incremental steps. Small, to be sure. Small enough that I think I will be able to hang on to the changes as I move forward. Very small. And yet, something. Something! All from simple little prayers that say "help me!"
When that is all you can do, it turns out, that is enough. The ball gets rolling. I am grateful. And I am now finding that I have been gifted strength for other things.
* * * * *
The word hosanna is something one shouts in praise of God. Hosanna! It is joyful; it is worshipful. In Hebrew the meaning of this joyful expression is this: Save us.
Hosanna! God, save us!
In our most joyous moments how do we praise God? By proclaiming our absolute and utter need of our redemption through him. This is fascinating to me.
Saving grace through simple prayers. Hosanna. Hosanna!