I can't think of a title...

Speaking of things that make my heart beat and cause me to bleed, I had to take my sweet little babe to the Emergency Room this morning. I've never had to do that before with my girls. Maybe it's because he's my first boy, but I am sure praying that this is not a premonition of things to come.

He rolled off my bed last night. I should have already put him up in his crib, but I was waiting for Ben to get home and the baby was so comfortably asleep on my bed that I just left him there, and didn't go in to check on him until I heard the *thump*whhaaaaaaahhh!!!* I thought he was just shaken up a bit, and I kept him in bed with us. He cried on and off through out the night. Both girls also felt the need to come down during that dark period, what Ben and I fondly remember and refer to as "bedtime." We were exhausted and convinced that our poor boy was just overly sensitive to his fall. But in the morning when we went to change his diaper we discovered that when his right leg was moved he cried out in pain.

We waited for the doctor's office to call back. We waited to be admitted into the Emergency Room. We waited for them to do an x-ray. We waited for them to get a hold of the orthopedic pediatrian. We were sent over to the orthopedic person, who wrapped up our baby's fractured right femur and told us to come back tomorrow when their specialist is in and she will fit the baby with a more livable splint/cast thing. This doctor isn't on our list of prefered providers, so our insurance co-pay will be more, but what do you do? You go where the emergency room sends you! And then you go back because your baby had the unlucky fortune to hurt himself on a day the physician isn't in.

I am exhausted.

And irritated at one of the doctors who is possibly doing a sort of residency or something (?) at the orthopedic place. Because he was obviously new, an apprentice of sorts, who had no bedside manner with babies or their parents (completely clueless. Which whatever. I guess that's not a prerequisite for medical school) and made semi-disparaging remarks about the underclass being able to get by pretty well without insurance which I found offensive because there was no compassion and he just came across as young and stupid. Not really traits you want to cultivate as a doctor, I would think. It sounded like he was implying that poor people work over the insurance companies ("I know too much about insurance," he said.) After our experience with student insurance I am pretty well convinced that it's the other way around.

And back to the baby. He's asleep. But I think we're in for another rough night until we get the new splint on. Time to load up on Baby Motrin, which he loves, actually. He just looks so sad as he lays on my bed with a huge thing wrapped around his leg. The poor guy actually went 12 hours without smiling at me, which worried me to death and broke my heart. He was just enjoying rolling around and such, except when it landed him under a chair or something. I guess the crawling will be delayed a few months. But that's okay. He's okay. He did smile at me and several of the doctors and nurses today, so that made me feel better. And he's a healthy kid. There were people in the ER much worse off than we were.

Thank you SO MUCH to the sweethearts who have so helped me out today by taking care of my girls and bringing us dinner tonight.