Tuesday, April 29, 2008

Dear Ant

... and following colony. I apologize for the behavior of my youngest daughter, recently moved to the table at meal time to a little chair that allows her to drop a significant portion of her food to the floor. And I apologize for not always getting it swept up in time. I apologize that the food is placed so close to the back door.

But you have been mislead, I'm afraid, by our actions. This house is not an ant paradise, nor is it a safe haven. In fact, it is just the opposite. IT IS A DEADLY TRAP!!! DO NOT ENTER, FOR IF YOU DO, YOU WILL DIE!!!! Or at the very least you will find yourself making new tunnels inside my vacuum cleaner bag. One that will find it's way to the garbage can and then to the landfill very shortly.

Please, please understand, I try to hold all creatures large and small in, if not high regard, then at least something akin to it. But when you insist on venturing past the walls of our home and into the kitchen, bringing hundreds of your friends and family along, multiple times...well, it's time for me to put a foot down. Or more appropriately, the vacuum.

Don't make me get out the bug spray. Consider this an adequate warning.


  1. Oh how I hate when these critters attempt a hostile takeover. Get rid of them all!

  2. Oh...I hate ants.

    We have a window in our apartment that is nothing more than a breeding ground for those gigantic ants that crunch when you step on them.

    Our ants got no warning. The were sufficiently decimated with Raid last week.

  3. I draw the line when they reach the bathroom. Out comes the ant killing "bait" then.

    It's very hard to find eco-toddler-baby-friendly ant killing stuff. Someone once told me of a chalk like substance that you draw wherever the ants enter but they don't have that here on this side of the world.

  4. I think this is why I broke down and invested in Terminex. And why I continue to justify the cost. Just when I think I've been wasting my money, the treatment begins to wear off and I remember. . .

  5. ugh, it's that time of year, isn't it?

    yay for hanging out at design mom!!!