... and following colony. I apologize for the behavior of my youngest daughter, recently moved to the table at meal time to a little chair that allows her to drop a significant portion of her food to the floor. And I apologize for not always getting it swept up in time. I apologize that the food is placed so close to the back door.
But you have been mislead, I'm afraid, by our actions. This house is not an ant paradise, nor is it a safe haven. In fact, it is just the opposite. IT IS A DEADLY TRAP!!! DO NOT ENTER, FOR IF YOU DO, YOU WILL DIE!!!! Or at the very least you will find yourself making new tunnels inside my vacuum cleaner bag. One that will find it's way to the garbage can and then to the landfill very shortly.
Please, please understand, I try to hold all creatures large and small in, if not high regard, then at least something akin to it. But when you insist on venturing past the walls of our home and into the kitchen, bringing hundreds of your friends and family along, multiple times...well, it's time for me to put a foot down. Or more appropriately, the vacuum.
Don't make me get out the bug spray. Consider this an adequate warning.